


Call It What You Want

by BunnyJess



Series: Reputation [13]
Category: Halo (Video Games) & Related Fandoms
Genre: Alice is a BAMF, All of Blue Team have owl teddies for Sam, Angst, Autism, Autism Spectrum, Blue Team, Bullying, F/F, Fluff, Hot Chocolate, Implied/Referenced Self-Harm, Kelly-087 has ADHD, Kisses, Linda and Alice have been together since they were young teens, Linda-058 is Autistic, ODST - Freeform, SPARTAN-IV, Safe Space, Self Confidence Issues, Self Harm, Self-Esteem Issues, Self-Hatred, Sniper - Freeform, do NOT mess with Alice, especially when she is worried about Linda, red team - Freeform, snuggles, spartan cartoon, strimming
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-10
Updated: 2018-08-10
Packaged: 2019-06-25 11:03:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,265
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15639426
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/BunnyJess/pseuds/BunnyJess
Summary: Alice was watching Linda carefully over dinner. The Spartan II’s and III’s were all sat eating in the mess hall trying to ignore the IV’s along with the rest of the UNSC Infinity crew around them. Alice found she was ignoring everyone easily as she was so distracted watching her lover. She could tell something was bothering her but knew she’d have to figure it out on her own or take drastic measures.(The one where Alice knows Linda better than anyone and just wants to help her partner deal with whatever is going on in her head)





	Call It What You Want

**Author's Note:**

> This meant a lot to me to write because a lot of Linda's behaviours here are ones my daughter displays on a regular basis. Whenever I've read about her (in the books) Linda to me always comes across as ASD. Even more so now that our daughter is suspected of being on the same spectrum.
> 
> This fic was inspired by Call It What You Want from Taylor Swift's Reputation Album.

Alice was watching Linda carefully over dinner. The Spartan II’s and III’s were all sat eating in the mess hall trying to ignore the IV’s along with the rest of the UNSC Infinity crew around them. Alice found she was ignoring everyone easily as she was so distracted watching her lover. She could tell something was bothering her but knew she’d have to figure it out on her own or take drastic measures.

As soon as dinner was over Linda stormed off to the showers, a whirlwind of contained rage. Alice noticed the picked skin on Linda’s less dominant hand, a clear indicator to only her that the sniper was full of self-loathing. Linda’s family, Blue Team, knew some of the behaviours she showed when her head got too full or the world got too complicated; wringing her hands, counting her rounds, dis-assembling and re-assembling Nornfang repeatedly, going mute, and a great many others. It was only Alice who could spot them all, even the smallest which happened to be the tiny red marks near her thumb.

It took formidable power and great control over her usual snarky retorts to coerce Blue Team, or rather the remaining three overprotective members, out of their large living space. Alice was one such powerhouse. She may not be the biggest, luckiest, fastest, or even the smartest Spartan; but when it came to her partner even the Diadact would have difficulty stopping her. Blue Team knew she wouldn’t be reasoned with and took over her quarters instead. She ignored their grumbling as she had a lot of work to do and only a short amount of time to do it.

Linda could feel the inadequacies scurrying under her skin like a hoard of ants. She felt her veins turn to ice as her mind twisted darker and darker. The skin around her thumb ached but the pain was nothing compared to the ache in her soul. The scalding water was pouring over her shoulders and back while her forehead pressed harder into the cold tile.

Linda knew she was difficult to work with if you weren’t raised by Mendez or Kurt, but she tried so hard. She just hadn’t expected to hear a bunch of IV’s complaining about it to some ODST’s. Their words had cut through her with more precision than Fred’s knife on an enemy. Their precision would make the Lieutenant jealous. All too quickly her vision had gotten sharper, her hearing more acute, and a sociopathic calm fired through her synapses.

The shooting range hadn’t helped. It just opened the gate for the self-loathing to start crawling like hungry cockroaches. By the time she’d emptied the clip of every type of sniper rifle on the Infinity the calm had been replaced by a flood of vicious words and damning phrases. She’d gone from reinforced walls that snapped up too fast to feeling like she was trying to contain her emotions in a soaked cardboard box.

Eventually her shaking hands managed to turn off the shower and pull on her clothes. Linda’s red hair was pulled up into a quick pony tail before she clenched her hands into fists four times. One time for each of her remaining family. She managed to drag up the strength to return to her team and their familiar, calming warmth.

The door to her quarters slid open and Linda heard a gasp, taking too long to realise it’d come from her. A massive nest of covers was piled up carefully with the mattresses pulled off beds to create a small, enclosed space. Sat amongst the soft blankets was her partner, her Alice, the one person who could make the world fade to nothing with one shared look.

Alice had everything set up, including some ridiculous cartoon based on John’s adventures. Linda had discovered it on a mission and only watched when everything got too much. She could smell the hot chocolate mixing with the extra sprays of Alice’s perfume. The ants under her skin started to slow, returning to the anthill of her mind.

The hours passed easily with Alice’s comforting heat wrapped around her. The world was slowly slipping back to a stable level, the itch disappearing the more they laughed. Linda’s weighted blanket was tight around her, held securely by Alice’s ever present, safe embrace. By the time she’d finished her fourth hot chocolate and the death-grip on her stuffed owl (something each of Blue Team had since Sam’s death) had lessened Linda’s words were slowly returning. Alice shifted around to see her lover.

“You going to tell me what happened today?” The soothing voice of the Red Team member cut through the excited chatter from their cartoon. Linda could feel the growl working its way up her throat but she wanted to talk, to accept help. “ODST’s, IV’s, no one likes working with me.” She chewed her lip and picked at her thumb. The right words weren’t coming, blocked by an invisible wall. Alice, her perfect Alice, just held her and waited, ever patient.

Time eventually passed, a beat too long for anyone not used to Linda. She sucked in a breath, took a sip of her drink and let her words flow. “I’m not normal. You’re like this walking daydream but only ever walk to me. I’m,” she shuddered and began to rock. “I’m not worth it. Not worth you.”

“You make me feel like I can fly, far easier than any Falcon can, all just with your love.” Alice heard a quiet sob in response to her words. “Let those drama queens take their swings, I’ll always be here.” She gently tapped Linda’s chest over her heart.

“I don’t know how to change. I…I…ugh” Linda ran her hands over her face. “I burn bridges quicker than Del Rio after John’s return.” Alice wrapped her arms tighter around Linda and pressed a kiss to her red hair. “At least I did one thing right.” She whispered into the crook of Alice’s neck. They let a gentle easy silence fall over them.

Alice took down Linda’s hair and, after running her fingers through it a few times to scratch her scalp, began braiding the soft hair. A soft sigh escaped the sniper as the tug on her hair grounded her further. A thought struck her just as Linda was nearing sleep and the braid nearing completion.

“You remember the first time we did this after my return? After the Spirit of Fire was finally found after all those years?” Alice kept her voice low so as to maintain their sleepy atmosphere. Linda murmured ‘no’ as she tried to focus on her lover’s words. She still didn’t understand how Alice could believe in her so much. “As I recall I told you that I’d never need saving but that I’ll always want to run away with you.” Linda let the words sink in, finally realising they were true. Sleep was trying to pull her in but she made an affirmative noise while reaching up to press her lips to Alice’s neck. “You’ll always be the one I’m walking to. Call it love. Call it trust. Call it what you want too.” Alice moved them just enough to look into Linda’s deep green eyes. “You and me, my wolf, always.” They shared a deep kiss, love flowing between them as they ended up tightly intertwined. A soft calm pushed the last of the doubts from Linda’s mind as Alice’s soft snores reached her ears. She quickly joined her in sleep, the events of the day finally behind her.


End file.
